


happy accident

by funwars



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Meet-Cute, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 13:45:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13812423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funwars/pseuds/funwars
Summary: based off a tweet i read about someone's dad calling the wrong number in jail, didn't want to waste the call, and now they're married.





	happy accident

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what au this is either. i don't even think this is how merlin was recruited (i have a whole fic exploring merlin and that bits already written, so stay tuned) i just thought the idea was so funny and i had to do it to em.

It was a simple, stupid mistake, Merlin's finger slipping up on his keyboard and accidentally alerting the bank about just how deep into their security system he was. He couldn't run, not when the police are so close by, and he could only take on a few cops before he would just be extending his jail sentence. The man in his ear screams at him that he better not give them up and he's not getting any money, and despite the panic rising in his throat, he promises not to say a word and hangs up the call. On the smaller laptop screen he watches the police cars closer and estimates he has about two minutes. Hidden compartments are popped open and anything revealing who hired him and all stolen hi-tech gear gets stashed away in their normal spots. Merlin curses under his breath and gives himself a few more seconds by flipping a few stoplights before slamming his laptop shut and tucking it away in the compartment under his desk. He shakes his hands out, sits back down and pretends to be unaware of the situation, and doesn't flinch when his dingy apartment door gets kicked down.

They almost don't offer him a phone call. Hacking into a high-security bank is in no means a typical occurrence (that the police force knows about) and it's clear the station doesn't quite know what to do with him. Merlin has tailored his documents after every one of his infractions, yet he can't help the niggling fear that he forgot something. He knows he hasn't, he never has, but then again...

"I believe I am allowed to tell someone where I am." The officer scowls at him and Merlin's face remains neutral, which only pisses him off more.

It's a number that he's never tried before, never dared to even think about it, but he doesn't have many other options. Family has been at the back of his mind for most of his life by now, but really, what other option does he have? Maybe he won't even say he's in jail. He can make amends, or at least, try to with such a short amount of time.

One ring. "How did you get this number?" is the first thing said, in a calm, British man's voice. Well. That can't be right.

" _Shit._ I'm sorry, I guess my mother changed her number." What the hell is  _wrong_ with him today? He's never been this off his game.

"Oh. Alright then. Well, have a nice day."

"Wait wait wait--" Merlin cuts in too loudly, glancing around to make sure no one's looking at him. "I've gotten myself in a bit of trouble and I don't want to waste this call. You don't happen to know a lawyer, do you?"

"May I ask who this is?"

He doesn't know why he feels compelled to tell the whole story, but he does. Tells this mysterious wrong number about what he did to get stuck in jail, the things the police don't know, his full, real name, and finishing it all with, "Most people call me Merlin."

"Well, Merlin," the man says, and the calmness of his voice almost makes Merlin believe he's not actually in that much trouble, "I think I can help you out."

"Are you a lawyer?" Merlin knows the answer, can tell that this man is withholding information. But then again, so is he.

"Not exactly. My name's Harry, by the way."

"Nice to meet you. So, are you coming to bail me out? Or do you know a guy?"

"I'll be over in a few minutes."

The line goes dead, and Merlin's mind spins as he tries to comprehend what just happened. True to his word, a mere two minutes after Merlin is escorted back to a holding cell, he is beckoned out and toward a room with a man he can only assume is Harry inside. He's dressed to the nines, a black bespoke suit the nicest thing Merlin's seen inside a police station in a very long time. The police officer who guided him in looks wary at Harry's existence, and she hesitates a moment before turning and leaving. As Merlin takes his seat, Harry stands from his, and Merlin sees the security camera in the upper corner's light go out.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Harry Hart, one of the Kingsman agents who have been watching you for quite some time. I admit, this is not the ideal recruitment situation, but it will have to do."

"I don't understand."

"Nor do I expect you to, Hamish. Kingsman is a private intelligence service founded by rich snobs who lost their heirs after World War I. I understand this is a lot of information to take in, but as of late our top tech wizard has been aching to retire and we have been keeping tabs on those who seem promising around the area. You, Merlin, are our top contender."

Merlin remains quiet for a few moments, searching the man's rather handsome face for something that might betray him. He's armed, wearing shoulder holsters (Merlin can tell by the way he stands, his arms tucked into his pockets a little awkwardly, ready to reach for one if Merlin tries to jump), and everything about his demeanor screams trained agent, from the perfectly coiffed hair down to the immaculate shoes. "And I get out of jail and my slate wiped clean?"

"If you are to join Kingsman, you will have to dedicate fully to it. There will be no record of your person outside of the Kingsman facilities."

To Harry's surprise, Merlin smiles. "You more than anyone should know I have nothing left for me out here."

Harry breathes a laugh and holds out a hand to shake, and Merlin eyes the watch on his wrist. Too clunky, definitely a few hidden features to it. Merlin takes his hand and shakes it. "What does the watch do?"

Harry is too slow to mask his surprise at Merlin's inquisition, and he smiles. "I can debrief you on all our tech once we're out of this damned jailhouse. Deal?"

Merlin nods and gestures toward the door. "After you."

* * *

Eggsy stares at him incredulously, the tea in his hand long since cold. "You're lying."

Merlin shakes his head. "All true."

"So you mean to tell me, that you called Harry on a  _fluke_ , and joined Kingsman with that little information?"

"You should've seen the glasses before I got here. Terribly sad."

"And you got  _married._ "

"Three years later. I usually say that we met at Kingsman, since that's not entirely untrue, but I feel like you deserve the whole story."

"Why?"

"Because," Merlin leans forward in his chair, a small smile on his face, "no one will believe you if you barely believe me."

"You bloody  _asshole_." 


End file.
